I just paid 5 euros for the extra hour..

[miladycarol]

... so here's more from me.

I spent some time reading back dates of LJ from others for the first time in weeks. It's usually too hard and expensive to do on the road, but G took up most of the last hour and I had bills to pay.

Anyway, I guess that everyone is basically healthy and okay, but this girl misses her people. Write and let me know what you are all up to! Just a few lines to let me know if all is well. I miss you all. I'm sorry if these rapid journal entries are not the best, but I promise you will be utterly inundated with my words when I return. Likely, you will pay me to stop rambling on... which will help finance another trip to Europe to to all the things I didn't get to this trip.

I know, I know... why didn't I do everything? Well, I have been contending for the past two and change weeks with G's cold/flu thingie. I don't want to tax him too much and the weather in Rome, Sorrento and Siena had been rainy, damp and cold. It was aggrevating rather than healing so we just kept moving on to escape it. Florence weather has been great. Warm and lovely. I really do need to go back to Rome and finish all the places we didn't get to. We never made it inside the Colusseum for goodness sakes. I mean, that is required, isn't it? Ah well, next time. Hopefully, there will be one. Anyway, G's health is more important to me than the sites.

I've got a million things to say and share with you all, but there's only 12 minutes left on this card. I miss you all. I'm such a nester that there are days when the travelling is annoying to me. I miss my puppies, I miss my bathroom (some of them are pretty nasty here). Yet, I'm having such fun figuring things out here. I'm learning a lot about the culture that created me. I am, after all, an old world European girl. Well, except that I don't smoke, wear pointy high-heeled shoes and expensive designer clothes. Okay, let me rephrase. I am an ancient European girl. My clothes more match those in the paintings from the middle ages than current fashion.

But, I can clearly see my roots here. I really am enjoying myself. I'd love to take you all with me and pull you out of my bag to enjoy this with me. Imagine the party we could have at the top of a duomo! Wheeee!

Okay, a few minutes left. I'll wrap this up by saying I'll try to find a cyber cafe in Venice. If I don't, it may be a while. We are either going to go to Verona or up to Innsbruk Austria. I want to make this little out of country detour to see the Swarovski factory. Then it's off to southern France. I had better brush up on my French vocabulary. *giggle* I hope I don't throw too much Italian in those conversations. Italy has been too easy because most people immediately start speaking English to me. Yes, you were all correct. But I persevere and toss as many Italian words as I can drag out of my bucket of vocabulary possible. The rest of the words are French and English. Waht a mess I am! I hope my French heritage works as well for me there as my Italian has here. People look at me and assume I am Italian. It's really cool. People keep speaking Japanese to G. *giggle*

Love and hugs from across the ocean and up the cuff of the boot! *smooch*

Comments

[indiecowboy.livejournal.com]

I miss you like hell! But I'm glad you're doing good. Tell G, to get better and enjoy freakin' Europe! Come back with stories!

[cathyholmes.livejournal.com]

if it helps, I spent an entire summer in Rome and still have a big list of stuff I never got to see but want to...

*wishing G to get better*

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

It does help. *smiles her thanks*

Poor G

[quethal.livejournal.com]

Hey Carol, I'm glad to hear you are having fun, even with that weight you're lugging around ^^ Poor George, though- I hope he feels better soon.

The play is this week; I'm sorry you're missing it, but it's ok. I would choose Europe over the play, too ;) I actually missed a night of the play (an understudy filled in) because my state debate tournament was this last Friday. I reached semi-finals in After Dinner Speaking, and ranked within the top ten in the state, so things are going well.

Again, I hope you have fun, and that G feels better! Ta ta!

-Kyle

Re: Poor G

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Yeah you! Way to go! I miss you and the boys. Will you be back from italy when we return on June 16th?

[agthorr.livejournal.com]

Carol! I miss you terribly. Much has been afoot in the world of Dan and Oblio and you are one of a small handleful people I wish were around to talk to.

FWIW, I enjoyed Innsbruk much more than Verona. Austria's geography is really cool. It's kinda like Vermont. On steroids. Your turn the corner on a street, suddenly your view is not obscured by buildings, and OHMYGODITSAMOUNTAIN!

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

It is beautiful here. I wish you were here too. Is there anything I can say from such a remote distance? What is going on? I haven't heard from her so I am totally in the dark.

Wishing you both love and extra hugs for Ian.

[agthorr.livejournal.com]

Well, let us say that Oblio has been exploring the open aspect of our relationship and that Oblio and I have been having a very bumpy time in our own relationship. Whether there is a casual effect between the two is a matter of some debate. We are working things out, but it has not always been easy. I am sure you will get the full scoop when you get back :-)

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. *heavily sighs* I was hoping you would both be able to stay on top of everything emotionally. You are both such open people, I have every reason to believe it will be fine. It just takes a LOT of communication. In a relationship with really superior communication skills it still adds an extra 50% more communication effort. My attempt didn't have very good communication in 1/3 of the people so it was insurmountable.

I wish I were there to help. As I am not, I shall just send you all my love and good energy. I'm sure you will sort it all out. Just be as open and honest as you can with each other. If there is the slightest little hesitation, talk about it immediately as it will only snowball. Lay all your cards on the table as they come up. I did that, but I was the only one being that honest and it wasn't enough. Since you and she are already in a good place with each other, you should be able to figure it out. It is painful and difficult, especially if you are the one losing time with her rather than gaining it. Be patient. I shall be home soon to hear that all is well. *warm hug* Please let me know if I can help remotely.

[agthorr.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your support, Carol. When are you coming home, again? :-) I look forward to going out for tea or Sweet Life with you.

I agree that communication is essentialy, though I would add it is not the only necessary component. A lot of self-knowledge is required before real communication can happen, and, ultimately, both people have to share a common vision and the desire to work hard towards it.

On another note, are you visiting Egypt during your travels? There's someone who I think needs rescuing from 'De Nile, so to speak. I didn't say that though; she's very headstrong and would be offended if I thought she needed rescuing ;-)

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Hee hee. No Egypt on this trip, but I can certainly help if either of you are feeling in-Seine. *looking hopefully for a laugh here*

I'm sure you'll work it out. Some things just take a bit of time to com together. I love you both. I'll be home June 16th, though I'm wishing it were sooner. It's been a long trip and we're both a bit homesick by now.

Big supportive hugs and lots of love.

[agthorr.livejournal.com]

Wow! June 16th is soon in my mind :) Oblio will have just graduated and her mom will have just moved out here. I look forward to your return :-)

Enjoy the rest of your trip!

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

It is both fast and slow. Interesting how two weeks just flies but two months can be a very long time away from loved ones and the solidity of routine.

We are having a very good time, though. We'll have slide show night when we get them all organized.

Are you well? Are things better?

[agthorr.livejournal.com]

I am hanging in there. Things between Oblio and I are going to hell in a handbasket. I hardly even see her anymore. I am gradually shifting from patience and a strong desire to work on things to impatience and disgust. It's not a transition that I want to be making. I want things to work. But it's hard to work with someone who claims that the universe is guiding her, and she is just doing what the universe is calling her to do. Which, apparently, includes cutting off all intimacy with me and moving out. Blah. Sorry for the sour note :-(

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Oh, Dan... I'm so sorry. I'm crushed and don't know what to say. Up until three months ago, I thought you had an enviably great relationship. I wonder how the Universe could possibly guide anyone away from that. Is Ian still with you? Where is she lving then? Oh, questions, questions...and I'm so far away. Please hang in there. I have free internet access in Colmar so I'll check again tomorrow. *big hug*

[agthorr.livejournal.com]

Ian has been spending a lot of time at his dad's. Oblio has just secured a lease on a two-bedroom place in town and will be moving there shortly. Ian (half-time) and her mom will be living with her. She is very gradually talking more sensibly and being affectionate with me. Her intention is to take this time and space to figure herself out and hopefully move back into a place of connection with me, and, eventually, return to living in our home. I wish she could figure herself out without having to leave, but that does not seem to be an option. This has all been very difficult and painful for me and I find myself wondering with deep sadness whether it is worth hanging in there. I know that if I end the relationship that I will go through a period of grieving and purging and sadness, but then I will be okay and I will move on and my life will be joyous. I can see that by hanging in there, there is great potential, but it is hard to hang in there when anything and everything is on the table with no gaurantees. I hope Oblio figures herself out while there is still time. She seems to feel that once she is actually moved out she will be much more open to my energy. I hope that she is right, though I wish she could make that shift in her heart and mind without actually needing to physically move.

I have begun leaning on her, firmly but not pesteringly, to end her other relationship. It is not a step I am happy about, but I cannot see a path where I am comfortable with that relationship continuing. There has been too much hurt and abuse of trust (in my evaluation) for me to feel open in that way. My faith in the practicality of polyamory is deeply shattered.

This is also financially difficult for me, which compounds my feelings of annoyance and resentment. I will probably need to get roommates, which is not an idea I relish, and greatly complicates any notion of Oblio moving back in.

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I feel for you both. Polyamoury is a wonderful notion but so difficult to make work in a real life situation. It is a confusing time. I wish I knew what to say, but my distance makes it hard for me as I rely so heavily upon intuition and energy to really grok situations. All I can suggest is to hang in there, and do what you need to do. If she has a lease then she can't be planning a return for a certain period. You may want to think about taking in a summer roommate. It will give financial room to reassess in autumn where you both are without locking her out of coming home for an extended period of time. This is just my logical side talking, this doesn't approach the personal rammifications, but sometimes it helps to at least know you aren't going to lose the house for lack of money. If you can hold off a month or at least until autumn without a roommate, it might give you time to think and be with yourself. I don't know, I'm just overwhelmed. What a crappy time for me to be so far from the ones I love, just when they need me around. I'm so sorry. Just hang on, not that I can fix anything, but I'll be back in two weeks to lend as much support as I can. I love you both so dearly.