Quick editing question...

[miladycarol]

Please keep in mind that the book I'm editing for Flex is a Dungeons & Dragons supplement.  It's not a scholarly text like G's.  In so saying, are you annoyed by some minor things like:

- overuse of "but" as a sentence opener?
- the occasional dangling modifier?
- quirky wording? 
- sections of choppy, short sentences?
- sentences ending in prepositions?

I feel compelled to make everything perfect, yet it will change Flex's style of writing to do so.  There is nothing glaringly offensive, yet there could be a lot done to polish his style.  If I did so, it would result in a lot of small corrections that might modify his voice and his cadence.  I really hesitate to do so, for he has a unique way of expressing himself.  

If I change half to two thirds of these, is that enough?  For something as light as a gaming manual, would you be offended?

Comments

[agthorr.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, depends, yes, and no (though if the preposition can be omitted without a change of meaning, it should be omitted)

[kireishojo.livejournal.com]

I second this

[clio75.livejournal.com]

The "But" thing would probably annoy me the most. I'd try to stay to correcting the spelling and the most heinous grammar issues and try to leave it as close to his original as possible.

Listen to his voice in your head and write it from his point of view.

[kittekaat.livejournal.com]

Is this something to be published? If it is, then the grammar is important no matter what the content. Whether people find it annoying or not is irrelevant if it grates on a publisher.

If it's not for publication, then it can be more loose.

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

If it were me doing it, I'd focus on the first two.

For a gaming guide (intended for an audience whose members can range in age and reading ability so widely) the 3rd and 4th might be to Flex's advantage (so long as the short sentences are clear). And the necessity of correcting the fifth is somewhat controversial these days.

[chaos-crafter.livejournal.com]

Same as agthorr.
The other part is tha tthe corrections may improve sales.
When I look at buying a D&D book, I pick it up and skim read a few paragraphs. Poor use of language generally suggest poor editing, poor writing, and as a result leave me assuming poor production values. Given the cost of D&D books, I will almost invariably turn to a different book if I find one like that.

[ninjakitten]

Yes, YES, on a case by case basis, often, and rarely, in that order. For the last one, I'm mainly annoyed by things like "Where is the library at?" -- and I don't think it's the preposition per se, but rather the redundancy.

A gaming manual may be 'light', but it's also trying to get across information that the readers are intended to use. Grammar exists in the service of clarity of communication. In the end, it's his choice whether to use any given correction, so I say correct everything. It isn't as though you weren't asked to.*

* Ha, I didn't add 'do so' to the end of that and I feel FINE. ;)

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

If it's annoying to read - change it. You need to show what he means, rather than what he says, if that's the case. It's nice to read short sentences interspersed with longer ones. I don't have any objections to "non-grammatically correct" writing in most things, provided it's easy to read.

[gwyd.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, no, no, no.

[deromilly.livejournal.com]

I'm late. :) But
yes
yes
no
it depends
"that is something up with which I will not put." Again, it depends. :P

I'm a tech writer. I'm annoyed by poor grammar, but what I write often requires short sentences. I get annoyed to the point where I won't read something badly written unless I must. If he's planning on sending it off for publication, an editor will either want it rewritten to be grammatically correct, or it won't get past the slush pile because it's not. Voice is important, but really, it needs to be a well-written voice.

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

"But" at the beginning of a sentence makes me want to cry.

It's a conjunction! School House Rock said so!! :~(