What a week

[miladycarol]

It just gets better and better. A man I love goes missing. I have a day of ups and downs with the girl I'm mentoring. I find out that very man was violently executed. I go to pick up my mentorship child and she refuses to come with me. I check in with her foster mom who hangs up the phone on me so I leave a message. When I check my email she's sent me a long list of the reasons why she's pulling her out of the mentoring system. Because of me. And the things on the list? Not even accurate. They are through the filter of a 12 year old girl trying to push the system for the best of everything. Who'da thunk? She never even tried to talk to me about it.

That's two foster moms pulling kids away from me.

I'm beginning to think I may have to invest in a complex about this.

I think I'll be taking some time off mentoring. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed emotionally in the moment and having this happen after spending over a month with this girl and growing to like her is, well, let's just say I'm less than happy in the moment. Yay. One more emotional heartache to cry over for me!

Comments

[silverblue.livejournal.com]

What on earth were the reasons, if you don't mind sharing? I fear I'm getting kinda over teens ATM, for my own reasons >.>

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Heh. She seems to think I'm undermining her parenting decisions and skills and her given reasons are inaccurate, or were her personal issues that she never took the time to discuss with me. She took personal offense to things that were reported back to her through the girl without checking in with me to see what I was thinking and if the stories were even accurate. Here, I'll include you in my mentorship lock. I just posted a bunch of stuff about it all. You can scroll back and read it and ask further questions based on that. I really appreciate your concern. Thank you.

[silverblue.livejournal.com]

I've always been lucky in doing temporary care for kids, things like babysitting - I have had kids a couple of times lie or deliberately be inaccurate in order to create a certain impression (one girl told me she would tell her mother I hit her if I did not give her chocolate, and of course told her mother when she got home that nothing of the sort had happened), and the parents believed me over the kid.

[tibicina.livejournal.com]

Oooh, you have a mentorship lock?

And... that's very, very upsetting. I hate it when people take a third-party report about me as pure truth and never bother to discuss it with me.

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Indeed. It's discouraging. I've had a rough week. I intend for it to improve drastically as the week progresses.

[zevhonith.livejournal.com]

If it's not too personal, I'd love to also be included in that filter - this is really interesting to me as a subject. My best friend has been a Big Sister a couple times, and I would like to know more about the mentoring process. Of course I understand if you'd rather keep it to people you're closer to. :)

I'm terribly sorry to hear this. :( I wonder if foster parents have a heightened sensitivity to things like this because they're afraid of "getting in trouble" themselves?

[starseeking.livejournal.com]

*hug* my thoughts are with you during this mind-troubling time. Have a cup of apple tea on me dear.

[biomekanic.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. :: hugs ::

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *hugs right back at 'cha*

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

You have my full sympathies, especially on the "but she said ' ', and now there's nothing you can do about it" angle.

[newroticgirl.livejournal.com]

*many hugs*

[indiecowboy.livejournal.com]

You ARE a great person.

I hate to tell you but kids are very difficult. And the kids you're dealing with are damaged kids. I frankly don't have the energy or ability to handle those poor kids. kudos to you for trying. But it's no black mark against you if this is not your field.

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm not sure the problem is the kid in this situation. Kids are kids but it's the adult's responsibility to inquire into questionable behavior. She clearly had questions and, instead of asking me, she created a world of assumptions. I don't feel regret on my own part, only on the kid's.

By the way, I was just thinking of you late last night. Are you feeling better? How are you doing?

My heart goes out to you...

[joyinthedark.livejournal.com]

My ex and I had a sort-of-foster-son in San Diego for 3 years. For the last year and a half of that, he lived with us, was relatively happy, and got straight A's in school except for penmanship. He went back to live with his father and within a year he had dropped out of school and was miserable. The father banned any contact between us, claiming that we were the source of the problems. The good news is that the boy is now 18, has re-established contact with us, and seems to be doing reasonably well (except he still needs to get his GED). But I certainly have empathy for you in your mentoring situation. You are a very good person who did not deserve this.

My heart also goes out to you over Skye. Gwyd was with me this weekend. From him I have gotten some idea of what a good man Skye was, and of the grief that you are going through. I am so, so sorry for you.

Re: My heart goes out to you...

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. Your thoughts and love are greatly appreciated, as well as your insights. *hugs*