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Urrgh! I'm sad. So sad. And there's not a lot I can do about it.
I signed up to become a mentor for older foster kids in the local system. These are kids who are likely never to be adopted because of their age but need more personalized attention from adults who can be a good influence upon them.
After all the forms, the fingerprints, the background checks, the interviews and the time it took to match me, I finally have a child to mentor. Her name is Crystol. I met her last week on Tuesday. I was able to spend only 1.5 hours with her on Friday. Her foster mom is, I got the feeling, a bit overwhelmed. She has 5 kids in her house. Crystol is the youngest. All of them have school, caseworker appointments, psychologist appointments, church activities... and now mentors.
I called her today to make a date with Crystol at her convenience and she told me that she dropped all the mentorships for all her kids.
I'm so completely crushed and upset. Those poor kids. They've already met their mentors and now they won't have them anymore. I'm so sad about this I'm having trouble focusing on my work. This is me writing out my frustration.
I totally grok that the mom is overwhelmed and it's her right and responsibility. I understand. It's her call to make. She's doing the best she can. I'm not mad at anyone. I've done nothing wrong, so I have no guilt. She's coping as best she can. That's the biggest thing for me. To be so full of the sadness at the unfairness of it all for Crystal and have nowhere to direct it.
Crystol is wonderful. I really, really like her. I think of her a LOT. I have made plans and put together activities for our next visit together. Crystol has been through constant change and uprooting in her short life and I am so enraged that I'm just another figure that passes by her for a brief span of time. Just another adult that didn't stick around. And not by my own choice.
~ 1 hour later. ~
I've called the woman who facilitates the mentorship program and explained my concerns. She's been working for the past few days to figure out some resolution. She shares my frustration for these kids to have these adults that want to share their time with them put into their path and then to suddenly have their paths changed, yet again. She's been working with case workers and DHS to remedy the situation. I'll know more in a week.
I feel for the foster mom. It's a lot of pressure and she has a lot of kids to juggle. I hope they all work something out that benefits everyone concerned. My personal bias is that I can continue to see Crystol. We share interests and I'm so incredibly excited to work with her. I will abide by the decisions of the powers that be, yet I truly hope I'll be able to continue to be a presence for her. If she is removed from the program, I've asked that I be allowed to write her a letter or see her one more time. I don't want to be just one more adult that fails her, I want her to understand that I would be excited to see her if I'm allowed and, since she knows where I live, she can feel free to contact me in the future. Even if that is years from now.
*crosses fingers and waits*
I signed up to become a mentor for older foster kids in the local system. These are kids who are likely never to be adopted because of their age but need more personalized attention from adults who can be a good influence upon them.
After all the forms, the fingerprints, the background checks, the interviews and the time it took to match me, I finally have a child to mentor. Her name is Crystol. I met her last week on Tuesday. I was able to spend only 1.5 hours with her on Friday. Her foster mom is, I got the feeling, a bit overwhelmed. She has 5 kids in her house. Crystol is the youngest. All of them have school, caseworker appointments, psychologist appointments, church activities... and now mentors.
I called her today to make a date with Crystol at her convenience and she told me that she dropped all the mentorships for all her kids.
I'm so completely crushed and upset. Those poor kids. They've already met their mentors and now they won't have them anymore. I'm so sad about this I'm having trouble focusing on my work. This is me writing out my frustration.
I totally grok that the mom is overwhelmed and it's her right and responsibility. I understand. It's her call to make. She's doing the best she can. I'm not mad at anyone. I've done nothing wrong, so I have no guilt. She's coping as best she can. That's the biggest thing for me. To be so full of the sadness at the unfairness of it all for Crystal and have nowhere to direct it.
Crystol is wonderful. I really, really like her. I think of her a LOT. I have made plans and put together activities for our next visit together. Crystol has been through constant change and uprooting in her short life and I am so enraged that I'm just another figure that passes by her for a brief span of time. Just another adult that didn't stick around. And not by my own choice.
~ 1 hour later. ~
I've called the woman who facilitates the mentorship program and explained my concerns. She's been working for the past few days to figure out some resolution. She shares my frustration for these kids to have these adults that want to share their time with them put into their path and then to suddenly have their paths changed, yet again. She's been working with case workers and DHS to remedy the situation. I'll know more in a week.
I feel for the foster mom. It's a lot of pressure and she has a lot of kids to juggle. I hope they all work something out that benefits everyone concerned. My personal bias is that I can continue to see Crystol. We share interests and I'm so incredibly excited to work with her. I will abide by the decisions of the powers that be, yet I truly hope I'll be able to continue to be a presence for her. If she is removed from the program, I've asked that I be allowed to write her a letter or see her one more time. I don't want to be just one more adult that fails her, I want her to understand that I would be excited to see her if I'm allowed and, since she knows where I live, she can feel free to contact me in the future. Even if that is years from now.
*crosses fingers and waits*