Musings

[miladycarol]

Meh.

I'm feeling highly ineffectual.

I'm not all that I should be at work. My performance is uninspired and unfocused. I hate being substandard at my job.

I haven't had the time to clean my house in... forever. The dust grows thick in the corners of the rooms. The effort it would take to do a total house clean would take at least a day or two and I simply don't have that much time. Kaori will be back on Friday and I won't even be able to clean the living room then. It's become overwhelming. I wish cleaning pixies would sweep in and sweep up for me while I sleep some night.

There are a quarter million house repairs that need doing and I haven't even gone to the hardware store to buy the needed supplies. I've MacGyvered everything together as best I could with materials at hand, but that's no substitute for the long term fix.

I haven't had enough personal time to regenerate and make myself healthy and happy.

And, worst of all, in addition to not being able to work, clean or take care of myself, I've been a horrible friend. I haven't had the time to socialize or spend a proper amount of time with anyone. I feel like I've deserted everyone.

*mopes*

My apologies to the Universe. I'm trying really hard to fix this.

Comments

[starseeking.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[cathaus.livejournal.com]

Don't fret it. If I may make a comparison that should flatter you? My bathroom lightbulb burnt out, and I realllly don't feel like dragging the ladder up from the basement to change it (means using the outside basement door, which I don't like to do in the dark. So... I'm using a string of xmas lights on a towel rod and flashlights, probably until I get back from holidays next Tuesday. So don't feel bad... you'll get a chance, and it will fell good because you can do it properly.

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Appropriate icon.
I love this part of the country, and yet...

[indiecowboy.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. Your like me. Your expectations of yourself are higher than those around you.

You are only "failing" yourself.

Your friends love you and cherish whatever time they get with you. take care of yourself first.............the rest will follow.

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

It's the holidays. Destined to make you feel like a failure until you arrive at your emotional destination and realize that you've accomplished all that matters.

[cmdr-zoom.livejournal.com]

Gosh, THAT sounds familiar/accurate...

[wyliekat.livejournal.com]

I've learned to ride the storm of guilt over what I didn't get done a little better than I used to.

[sbloss.livejournal.com]

You have very high standards for yourself. Try to go easy on yourself. I don't feel that you've failed me at all as a friend you've been there for me and I appreciate that. I treasure whatever time I have to spend with you.