Apply a dollop of social lubricant and rub vigorously

[miladycarol]

lurkitty has inspired me. She wrote a post where she speaks about dealing with social situations. Now, I shall write about my experiences. If you are interested, make with the


I’m shy. Well, I’m mostly shy with moments of gregarious showers and the chance of giggles. I’ve often noticed that when I’m in a one-on-one situation, I’m fine. But, I find large crowds intimidating. I'm not good in them at all. Unless I am in a mood, but how often does that happen? Certainly not anytime before the age of 28. *rolls eyes* I’ve often found I need an ice-breaker companion. I can even become quite comfortable in a crowd when I have someone with me to fall back upon for conversation if all goes poorly. It’s rather like insurance.

I much prefer small groups of 2-5. Even my tea group can be too big, at times. Because I am intimate with these folkes, it's not intimidating, but I feel sad that I can't give each of them the time and attention I'd like because the group can be cumbersome in size, especially when spread out over a super long table or two. But, it's all good. I have learned to focus on the people sitting closest to me and make sure to give hugs to all before anyone leaves.

I didn't have any siblings, so I was always alone. I guess I felt like I was on the outside looking in because I wasn't good at socializing. As an only child, my social skills were rather squeaky from lack of use. I’ve gotten a bit better, but I’m still not the smoothest cog in the machine. Tonight, for example, I could be at International Coffee Hour, but I’m not. I would rather stay at home or go to the movies than voluntarily go to a crowded venue – especially one where I’m expected to be social. Gack!

I think part of my problem in my old age is my hearing. A decade spent in factory basements with lots of loud machinery and noise pollution has damaged my hearing filters. I have a really hard time hearing people when they are standing inches from me when there is a buzz in the room. This is why I avoid concerts, too. I can never hear the words, just the bass music. I can’t hear anyone sitting next to me even if they are screaming in my ear. It’s just unpleasant.

Despite the notion I might be becoming a curmudgeon and that I may have to bring a gramophone horn with me to all conversations in the near future, I really do appreciate that people still seem to want me around. Maybe it’s because I bring tea. *smiles*

Comments

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

i like just a little ppl at once to. the body has hearing problems plus brain damage that makes the brain have trouble sorting out different sounds. no fun!

i hope soemday i can go to tea! it sounds fun.

i found the purple boots mama put aside for you!

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

What we should do is have a private tea together. Just you and I and a couple others so we aren't overwhelming. I would love to host it, but I'm not sure if my house would be safe for you. I try not to use chemicals at all if I can help it, but there are definitely scented oils and such in the house. You'll have to give me a list of things that you absolutely can't have around you, I truly don't want to make you ill. Tell me how to make this work and I'll do my best to make it happen. You deserve tea.

[rainbow.livejournal.com]

oooo! that would be SO FUN!!! and daddy, please, cause i can't drive my own self.

um. smoke, insense, air freshner, anything with artaficial fragrance, strong eos are all big problems. oh! do you use flea stuff on your dogs? cuz i got seizures before from that. the body got hurt bad my termiticide so anything in the bug killing family is specially hard for the body to handle.

maybe if we cant do it at your house we can do it at my house sometime? it is awfly messy here but daddy has been helping me work a little on it. but we do have lots of kitties!

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Of course, please bring him, or he bring you (as the case may be). All are welcome.

I have incense, but it's not usually lit much. I kind of keep it in drawers and poking out of plants just to add the aroma to the air without the smokiness. I only tend to light them when I can open the windows and close the doors because I don't want to breathe the smoke, either.

I don't use flea stuff on the dogs unless they are completely infested. That only happens once every couple of years. Usually, I keep on top of fleas by inspection and individual hunt and kill forrays.

There are candles in the house, but I won't light them for at least a day or two before I know you're coming.

I'll also clean the house a couple days ahead in case my cleaner is a problem. It's a citrus based biodegradable number, so I am hopeful it won't trigger anything for you. It's the most innocuous yet effective thing I've found so far.

We can certainly give my place a try. If you have an issue, we can pack everything up and take it up to your place, or we can just have it at your house. If my health and immune system are fully functional, I can usually withstand kitties for at least an hour.

Don't worry about messes. My house has been greatly neglected of late. I'm trying to work on it today, but I'm rather distracted. *sigh* In any case, I'm no one to throw stones. It's all good.

[ar-wahan.livejournal.com]

I'm also an only child... and I also am more comfortable in small groups. The hearing thing is an issue with me at times, as well.

I can relate a lot with this post -- not just with what I've mentioned here.

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Oh how I would love to sit in person with you for an afternoon... at least. You sound so comfortable. I believe that, though that phrase just popped off the ends of my fingers from a feeling, I don't need to explain my words. I suspect you understand the meaning. People continue to urge me to visit New England again. Should that ever occur, I'll be sure to set aside time to meet you.

[ar-wahan.livejournal.com]

Ah, gee... thanks. *blushes*

I expect to be in Portland next June, though it will be kind of crazy. Lurkitty talked about trying to meet.

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Please keep me informed. I'd love to tag along. I imagine we three could certainly "tear up" the town a bit with our wild and zany antics. *grins*

[karinablack.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh.. could be more than the tea :)

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Awww, how sweet!