(no subject)

[miladycarol]

I’m feeling pretty secure in this new place right now. I’ve reached some sort of plateau and I’m comfortable being here for now. I’d like to strive for higher ground, but right now I’m very happy for emotional stability while I continue to process through the physical. I don’t think I want to even begin to explain all that in the moment. I’m just happy to be up, moving and have some energy. It has been a battle to find this serene spot and I’d like to explore this environment before I move to a more permanent, happier place yet.

Yesterday, I saw friends and felt absolutely wonderful to revel in each one’s energy. I’m different. I’m not the same person as I was a few months ago. I’ve been through a lot and I’ve had to change to adapt to the new perspectives. I’m not done with that process, but fundamentally still the same Carol. I’ve just had to reshape some of the outer contours and I’ve not had a chance to sand and polish yet. I appreciate everyone’s patience with the big yellow “under construction” sign I’ve had up lately. You are all dear to me.

My road trip went pretty well despite physical sickness and fever. I’ll likely write about that later. In other news, I’ve acquired a new job. I wasn’t looking for it, it found me. It will be part time on week days and I’ll start Tuesday morning. This should be interesting. I’ll be working in real estate and banking. It kind of just fell into my lap and I think I’m meant to experience it at this stage in my life, so I’m going to run with it and learn what I need to learn. Optimistically, I’ll also earn a fair bit of money which will really help right now. I have a lot of people that I hope to assist and this should draw much more cash than minimum wage at the bead store.

Ah, the bead store… what to do, what to do…
I really love working there, but working on Saturdays is an issue for my personal life. Everything that my family wants to do is centered on the weekends and I can’t participate. It’s becoming a real problem. If I want a Saturday off, I need to give notice 1 month in advance which means that I can’t do anything spontaneous. It’s also a burden and inconvenience for the bead store to be short someone they depend upon for weekends. What to do, what to do. I’m going to have to sit down and have a conversation with my boss and see what we can do. I don’t want to quit but I hate the stress this puts on my personal relationships.

Anyhow, I’m going to make crêpes. I bought a crêpe pan and I have the recipes I copied from a book in France. It’s Breton crêpes for lunch today… we’ll see how well my maiden voyage sails.

Comments

:o)

[huxbear.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear you're doing "well" -- integrating what *is* going on in your life is a huge (healthy) step toward embracing the things you *want* to be in your life... [[snuggs]]

Good luck with the new financial endeavours and the "helping the needy" dealio... :o) If anyone can pull off the "Mother Theresa Meets Martha Stewart Meets The Entire Food-Network Folks" with aplomb, it'd be you... ;o)

Glad to hear from ya... I was getting concerned... [[snuggs]]

Re: :o)

[miladycarol.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your support. I didn't necessarily mean to make it sound like a Mother Teresa thing... there are just a lot of people in my life and I hate to see our government's bad management techniques effect us badly. It seems like I could have a great education, loads of talent, a great work ethic and my health, but I still might not have a job. And, if I have a job, that doesn't guarantee me health care, so if my health hits a wall, then I'm unable to work and a degenerating downward spiral begins. I see it happening all around me. I hear the stories on NPR, I see the people curled into corners of buildings trying to stay warm and I think the only difference between me and them is great fortune. I carry bags of nuts and trail mix in my backpack to pass out to those people huddled against the cold. It's not much, but it's something. All I'm doing it returning the good energy I've received all my life. Extra money will just make it easier to help as there are some things trail mix and hot chocolate can't fix... believe it or not. *smiles*