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Dear Universe,
In saner states of mind, I love and respect you, but in the moment, I am frustrated beyond belief, the camel is in need of back surgery due to an overabundance of rotten straw, and I need to vent. I have attempted to be patient and maintain some sense of dignity, but you have mocked me twice today and all my cool has been stuffed in a kettle merrily whistling on the stove. Please find enclosed a list of my gripes.
I resent my current sore throat that will, if this year’s precedents are to continue, represent the 5th virus I’ve had in 2004. None of them have been less than 5 days and some have lasted up to 2 weeks. I haven’t been ill this many times in a year since nineteen seventy-something.
I resent not having any immune system to speak of this year. I resent that my health is on a downslide.
I resent that I have 3 more days of the big sale to work before I can rest.
Though I truly am happy for the individuals involved, I deeply resent that people around me are becoming pregnant and having babies when I cannot. Each of these instances has caused searing pain to my soul and pride that takes a genuine effort to overcome. I love these people and I love their children, they are not the issue. It is simply salt to the festering wound in my womb.
I resent that my chosen career has, over the decades, riddled my body with toxins that have, no doubt, contributed to my infertility.
I resent that I don’t know what I have done to earn the utter hatred of G’s family. I resent that I don’t know how to fix it and doubt they’ll give me any opportunity to do so at this point. I resent that his continued connection to me has caused them to distrust their own son and treat him badly. I resent that he has to feel so completely betrayed when all he wants to do is love them.
I am saddened that so many people have been hurt, wounded or killed this year.
I am saddened that this Earth’s movements and balancing has caused so many tens of thousands suffering and death.
I am saddened when my good intent is misread or misunderstood. I am saddened when people perceive hatred and doubt from my smiles and hugs.
I am saddened that so many people are falling further and further into economic hardships. I am saddened that I can’t help them all the way I’d like to.
I am saddened that I don’t have the power and abilities to correct these things.
I have tried to be a good person. I have tried to do what is just and generate as much positive energy as I am able. I feel I am falling behind. I see myself struggling just to maintain a status quo and not really making things better for anyone.
I pray to the Universe that I regain my strength and health.
I pray that I will become a positive force, that I will begin to make people happy, that I will cease to be a source of ill will and spite.
I pray that I might heal myself so that I may bring a healthy and complete human into this world and raise him/her to become a self-actualized positive force in the Universe.
I pray that people throughout the world find the strength to heal and make a positive difference, whether that be physical, economic, spiritual or any combination therein.
I pray that our environment finds solace in the meager strides we take to be kinder and is gentle to us in her healing process.
I pray that we all find the peace we need within ourselves and that we have the patience to apply that peace in all the ways we are able.
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As letters to the Universe go...
[[snuggs]]
Sorry it can't be more.
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Re: As letters to the Universe go...
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I love you
I am sorry if it was insensitive of me to tell youa bout Brian and Brooke...it was so exciting and mindblowing I was so overwhelemed with feeling I had to share...sorry if that usurped my good sense pertaining to what you are going through...
If youa re sick love...I am SURE Stacy will send you home ASAP...it tends to be her way...fear not. Aren't you off on Thursday??? and mayhaps tomorrow too if all goes well...
I am sending you much good energy...as you put much sweet and good into the world and make it better on a regular basis. that is one of the many thigns I love about you...
Echinecea (sp?) hugs and kisses
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Re: I love you
I'm not worried about work. I'll bike in this morning and stay as long as someone wants me doing whatever they want me to do. I used to work through all my illnesses, including migraines, until I started working with the public. I always let my boss make the call, though. I come in regardless.
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pasing you some good karma
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Re: pasing you some good karma
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*biggest monkey hug in the world*
You are so important to me. So necessary to my survival here on Earth. Your healing hugs and kind words...your cups of tea and scones....your loving advice and gentle ass kickings...your ready ear and Xray empathy......
How do I repay you? How do I even attempt to give you half of what you have given me, love?
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Don't hesitate to call on me for anything.
I love you!
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*wraps you in big gentle Bear hug*
Meep...?
Care for a cup of tea my love? At least a cup of Zen tea? (The tea I would give if I was there, and could, but since I'm not and can't)
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It has been so nice over the past few years to know that I have a kindred spirit out there watching over my Family. :)
Hugs to you. I hope to get out there soon to meet you and give you a hug in person...
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Are you still planning a trip out some time in 2005?