Okay, it’s time for another Australian lesson.

Today, we will discuss the word “dag.” Sunday, at Lorinda’s house, she donned a well-loved sweater – or jumper, as they call them here – with holes and worn spots. She apologized for wearing such a daggy jumper. She then felt the need to explain the word's origins to me. Apparently, a dag is a piece of feces that has latched onto the hair on the backside of a sheep and formed a hardened turd cocoon. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a dag. To my mind, this made sense. She apologized for wearing a sweater that was a bit on the worn and messy side. Not sightly. I get that. Turd cocoons are not sightly, the sweater wasn’t the prettiest. I made the connection and was happy to move on, but she immediately continued by further explaining that dag could be a compliment to a person. “Oh, you’re such a cute little dag.”

Here, I paused.

So, let me get this straight. A dag can be a compliment. What you really just said was, “Oh, you’re such a cute little hair encrusted piece of shit.”

Compliment.

Hmmmm…

Am I the only one who doesn’t follow this? This tracks very closely with my theory of how international wars begin over slight cultural indiscretions. If my interpreter just translated your comment into my language while we were discussing strategy over a pot of tea as, “You’re so funny, what a cute little hair encrusted piece of shit you are!” Well, you may imagine the pot of hot tea could very accidentally be poured into said delegate’s lap. Quite by accident, I assure you. Hey, wars have been started for less. I heard WWII was begun because someone loaded one too many pieces of straw on a camel’s back which, in turn, broke the camel’s back. One may only assume that this was a prized camel. A very important dromedary. Hey, it started a war.

So, what lesson do we learn from this story?

A. One simply cannot trust an Aussie to say anything straightforward, after all, historically, it was a giant penal colony.

B. Aussies don’t know the difference between a compliment and an insult… and simply don’t care because, hey, they have the Great Barrier Reef and Fairy Penguins.

C. Aussie colloquialisms are just cute no matter what they mean because they have that really sexy accent so they can say whatever they want as long as they keep talking.

Remember, the Aussie word of the day is dag. Thank you for your time.
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miladycarol: (Offended / surprised)
( Apr. 12th, 2006 10:14 pm)
I soooo have to be in Town Hall for this!

zombielurch
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